What is plastic??!?!

Has anyone stopped to ask themselves this? More importantly has anyone stopped to ask someone else this? From what I gather it is some conglomerate of polymers melted down into a goo-ey substance and then molded into just about everything we use in our lives. It cannot be repaired. There are about a million types of it. It doesn't really ever properly decompose. It apparently has estrogen in it (and probably a million other harmful chemicals). Mr. McGuire calls it "the way of the future" in The Graduate (1967) and to a large part, he has been right. But does anything know anything good about this product?

Top 4 reasons why I like Green Snot

1. Thickening
2. Girls are way more likely to be grossed out by green snot than by not-green-snot
3. Green snot means that you're sinuses are nearing the end of draining, which means you will be able to hear properly again, and talk properly again and more or less not feel like there's a 300 pound gorilla sitting on your head...unless of course there is a 300 pound gorilla sitting on your head.*
4. Green snot means you will soon have boogers, boogers are natural


*If there is a 300 pound gorilla sitting on your head you may want to contact your local authorities for help.

Having a cold sucks. Speaking of things that sucks, racism sucks. Recently Democratic Presidential Hopeful Barack Obama addressed this issue, specifically in regards to some very divisive comments his Pastor made from the pulpit. Here is the most complete version of the video I could find, which I have yet to see, but we should watch it and then talk about it.

You can read the complete text of the speech here.

I love this blog too much to not pimp it on my own blog.

Stuff White People Like

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

Both links are to the same thing, I am just making it more convenient for you. Enjoy. I read this daily, and laugh. And realize how point-less our life is. How much we've made out of so little. Sigh....

Torn like two-ply toilet tissue

So, There seem to be these times in life where an OBVIOUS answer just doesn't seem to exist. Usually this period of confusion follows the question of "What should I do next?"

I feel like I have a solid answer to "What do I want to do with my life?" and that is; To use less and to love more.

Which may sound kinda vague, and that may be the reason I like it so much. Vague leaves alot of room for freedom, and if one is willing to live with accountability and not use their freedom to be lackadaisical then I think alot of good can come from it. I guess, its the difference between the successes (and failures) of democracy and the successes (and failures) of socialism. People are willing to live more of their convictions (and contribute more) to society if they are acting under their own impetus, rather than the forced will of the government (or The Man.)


Why have we turned (all of our) relationships into formulas? You do this and this and this and then you get or give this and this and this, and then this happens and your relationship is better for it. Presto! Why does everyone's Christian walk look the same? Read. Worship. Pray. Presto change-o! Yikes, that scares me.

So I am applying for Teach for America (http://www.teachforamerica.com/). TFA is a corp of people who start as beginning teachers in "under-privileged" areas, trying to share some of the opportunity (and hope) they've been given in building relationships with students in the classroom. TFA is, and can seem like a romantic idea, which I don't believe it will be in all practicality. Over the past few months of the application/interview process I've read many accounts of both the "Happily ever afters...." and the horror stories from teachers who have hated it.

I guess, ultimately the question is where do I think I could do the most good? The options are roughly TFA or Omaha, NE. I would love to start a community house of sorts in Omaha, encourage people to start bike-commuting, using less, re-cycling and generally and living more sustainably. I already know alot of people in Omaha and feel that it would be building this sort of thing with some sort of starting foundation, or going about it from scratch. Thoughts?

My office job is closing at the end of this month, which throws me for yet another decision loop. Yikes. So I find myself in a city where I don't really feel that I should be in half-waiting out a lease that ends in July waiting with my hands-tied to make decisions. So there you go. Are you as confused as I am? =)

Of Puerto Rico and being handed the keys to "Jurassic Park."

So we got back from Puerto Rico Saturday evening. Whiplash. It was 85 and sunny on the beach on the PR, 24 hours before we landed in Chicago. Walking back to my apartment from the EL stop in shorts it was 30 and windy.

Puerto Rico was amazing. Just what the doc. ordered in terms of getting away from the stresses of my hectic working life. It was pretty much 80 the entire time we were there. We spent alot of time on a various number of different beaches, all of them gorgeous. If you've seen a postcard and that postcard has a beach pictured on it, then most likely the beach pictured is in Puerto Rico, regardless of whether or not the name on the postcard says Jacksonville or Venice Beach.

The water in Puerto Rico is blue, which is different than the poop brown color that the ocean is right off our coasts. The sand is most often white, which is probably the reason is so blue.

We spent alot of time snorkling, we saw alot of things Barracudas, Crabs, Sea Slugs (which we tormented until they "inked" their load (which we have video of here). We saw Puffer fish, Sting Rays and Regal Tang fish (which is what Dory was from the movie Finding Nemo - theyre alot less annoying in real life.)

Most nights we camped on beaches, sleeping to the crashing surf.

One day we drove west on the island to see the largest satellite in the world (Aricebo Observatory) which was featured in the movie Goldeneye and also Contact. It was pretty cool. We were planning on camping at a near by national forest, but when we got there found that it was closed (Like many other things on an island that apparently moves more slowly than here.) We found two guys working in the machine shop behind the main office, and asked what the deal was. They re-itterated that it was closed and told us that we were pretty much hosed since it was nearing dark and the next nearest campsite was quite a ways away. The looked us over and handed us the keys.

Yes, the keys to a national park in Puerto Rico. Pretty flippin' awesome. We have pictures. As you can see it pretty much looks like Jurassic Park, and since none of Jurassic Park was actually shot in Puerto Rico (sorry guys) we decided to tell people that we pretty much slept in Jurassic Park. It was a great night out, so we decided to sleep under the stars. Falling asleep to the sound of crickets, and Koki frogs....which we told ourselves were Brontosaurus and Velociraptor (what? I was home-schooled, I have an over-active imagination.)

On Thursday of last week we left the main island of Puerto Rico by ferry for the island of Vieques, where we snorkled some more and paid visit to a Bioluminescent bay. Which can sort of be seen here (but think, this is a small fish, imagine swimming in it!) I could "Hadouken" (for you old school 16-bit gaming geeks out there) my brother from a good four or five feet away and a stream of light would hit him. Pretty cool!

More jokes and relating, than can be related here. More fun than can be related here. I will always argue that its not what you do its who you do it with. And the thing that makes trips like this priceless are the people you go with. We went as a group of six, I didn't know three from the group before we left, but it was fantastic. A friend of mine David Chronic said to me once that "Scarcity creates community." Its always cool to put yourself in a situation with a group of people that you're all unfamiliar with, and with less than you have in the average day (essentially what you have in your hiking pack) and to live and learn from there. Pretty cool. Hmm...no wonder I like the idea of community living so much. Anyone else wanna move somewhere together?

peace,

matt

p.s. - here are the links to the photo albums which we uploaded from the 5 digital cameras that traveled along.

Kristen's Gallery
Nate's Gallery
Seth's Gallery

Friday, February 22, 2008

Oscar predictions (not that it matters) Here it goes, faster that you can say The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (my hand cramped up just typing that.) Best Picture - No Country for Old Men (Ive been saying it since October, maybe longer.) Best Director - Ethan and Joel Coen - No Country for Old Men Best Actor in a Leading Role - Daniel Day Lewis - There Will be Blood(Brooding!) Best Actress in a Leading Role - Julie Christie - Away from Her (which I havent seen.) of the films I have seen Ellen Page should win. Best Actor in a Supporting Role - Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men(Terrifying!) Best Actress in a Supporting Role - Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There (Brilliant!) Best Original Screenplay - Diablo Cody - Juno Best Adapted Screenplay - Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will be Blood Animated Feature - Ratatouille - though, Persepolis was the better "film" Documentary - No End in Sight - The Academy WILL not risk another Michael Moore rampage. Foreign Language Film - Falscher Die Best Cinematography - Janusz Kaminski - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Its Janusz Kaminski for crying out loud.) Best Editing - The Bourne Ultimatum, but No Country for Old Men Should win. Best Achievement in Art Direction - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (I WILL NOT predict Atonement for anything) Best Achievement in Costume Design - Elizabeth: The Golden Age Orignal Score - 3:10 to Yuma (Brilliant, by far the best score here, but I would love to have seen a No Country nom here.) Sound - The Bourne Ultimatum Sound Editing - Transformers (why was Live Free or Die Hard not nominated?) Visual Effects - Transformers (I WILL not vote for Pirates 1, re-warmed thrice) Best Doc. Short Subject - Sari's Mother Best Animated Short - I Met the Walrus Best Live Action Short - Om natten There you have it.

"Perception is reality." Is perception reality or does it simply define (shape) reality? Yes, I think perception shapes reality.

I was sitting in the international terminal of O'hare airport enjoying a few last hours with my brother and sister-in-law who are (as of the time of writing this) about halfway to London. They are moving to Sierra Leone for three years to serve amongst the poorest of the poor. (rhetorical question alert) Why dont more people do this? (rhetorical question alert)

I thought that between my brothers and I we've been to quite a few different countries and experienced quite a few different cultures, we've seen quite a few different local (micro) realities that make up a greater picture (lets call it macro-reality) or just Reality. What is the correlation between Reality and truth (or Truth)? Often it is easier (I think) and sometimes looked down upon to assume that there is absolute Truth. But, I do believe in absolute Truth, I strongly and firmly do. What that absolute Truth is I don't know and don't think that we'll ever have irrefutable evidence toward it.

At the tender, young age of 25 I feel like I've read my fair share of books, Ive experienced quite a few crazy/cool things, I feel like Ive learned quite a bit. Yet all I can say that I know authoritatively is my own opinion(and even then, sometimes that's sketchy.) I even feel that it would be pretty arrogant for me to say that I "know" Truth. All it takes is one humbling walk through a library archive to realize all of the things in life that you do not know or understand. The stacks and volumes of material which you've never once breached in your mind.

The Bible even eludes to this when it talks about seeing in a mirror darkly..."For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." 1 Corinthians 13:12 (KJB)

I think what we mean when we say we "know" Truth is that we believe Truth. Faith. Faith is huge. Faith takes an experience. In many religious cases a relationship or some other manifestation of things which we cannot begin to grasp. Perhaps, faith is alot like trust, "This person caught me before in the past when I fell, perhaps they will catch me if I fall again. Yes, I believe, I trust."

I currently own three Trek (brand) bikes and have been very pleased and impressed with their performance. You could say that I am a firm believer in the Trek brand (and I think you'd be correct in saying so.) Yet my brother owns two Giant bikes and seems happy there. His experience backs his belief, my experience backs mine (and believe it or not, we do co-exist happily.)

Does this mean that my perception affects the nature of Truth? No. But I do also believe that our minds are too small, too finite to begin to grasp "Truth" in this life time. Does it mean that my perception shapes reality? Yes, maybe. If you're into quibbling semantics. If we got all of the 6.5 billion individuals together in one big forum and had it out about Truth and afterwards published an exhaustive work regarding Truth, we might be a little bit closer to an understanding. Or at very least we would have a more informed, more universal approach toward what we're calling "Truth."

Perhaps, within dialogue our definition of Truth can only be made stronger. With your understanding of Truth combined with my understanding of Truth we may be able to see a still clearer picture. "With our powers combined, we are Captain Planet!"

Beards are "in." The day of the clean-shaven slacker are over. I just got back from seeing Iron and Wine so you know why I think so. I am pretty convinced that Singer/Songwriter Sam Beam has a few birdies nested in there. And they're happy about it too, with his laid-back/friendly demeanor those speckle-throated swallows couldn't be happier. It sure beats that dump up there on the tree branch thats for sure, and warmer too.

Thats the thing about Iron and Wine, you know through his lyrics that he's seen his share of hard times. You get the feeling that he understands, and yet through his sweet, un-wavering voice you just get this sense that it's gonna be ok. You know, I have to think that it will be.

I walked out feeling as though I'd just gotten a nice massage, relaxed, mellow, ready to take on just about anything. At this point however, sleep seems to be the best option, I am prepared.

http://www.halfpastnormal.blogspot.com

I was on a break from work a few months ago, sitting on one of the columns in front of the Italian Sports Hall of Fame in Chicago. A friend of mine had stepped out of Starbucks where I work in order to grab a smoke. About 30 feet apart we didn't talk, I didn't see her. Later she told me that she wonders what Matt thinks about at times like this. I told her I didn't know, and proceeded to make another Latte, probably non-fat, maybe no foam, almost certainly over-priced and not needed.

I've realized that I think alot, perhaps too much. Some say thats not possible, I think they're just encouraging me toward my sanity. =) I love them.

A friend asked if I'd been journaling lately. I told her "no." But I need to be. And I do need to be, so here we go. I haven't blogged in a long time but need to get into it again. I haven't been writing much recently and I am hoping that my more informal tootlings on here will encourage the grey matter in the fictional field. Sure, I am working on a couple scripts. But I think it's the ideas shared here that will flesh out in script form elsewhere. In any case I invite you along in this less-intrusive-than-email form. I choose to post as opposed to email for that reason. So you can read if you like and you can not read if you like. The thing I want to avoid is having a platform. I wish this could be more discussion based, cause I think the only way any of us can really learn is together. I consider myself an expert in no field, other than my own opinion (which is probably half-wrong 50% of the time.)

So with that, check back, comment back, write back, call, communicate as you will. I need you, and perhaps together we can learn some stuff. These are my thoughts and you can read them at


http://www.halfpastnormal.blogspot.com

This is an email, I originally wrote and never sent nearly 6 years ago. Its interesting/funny to go back and see what has stayed the same and what has changed in my life.

eastward ho!, a bowl of chili and the end of a dynasty

Hey hey everybody!!! Well here we are again, the end of a, once new year, the out set of yet another, the next step in the finite puzzle that comes together to form the existance that is ours. Where have we come from? Where are we going? Questions that we all must delve into. Another Christmas, a season of Joy, reflection and looking to the year that stands emminent on our doorstep. Any attempt to ignore it proves to be futile. We must look to the new year, we must look to change. What have we done? Where has it gotten us? Is there a margin of error? Or room for improvement? Will we sit and hope that our current direction will hold true for yet another year? Or will we change that path in hopes of making the world a "better place." Will our failures help us grow or leave us floundering? New years resolutions, everyone has them, and everyone breaks them. Will you stick to yours? Can I stick to mine? Will this year be the year that things change? Just as we ask every year. Can we change ourselves in order to change the world? Leo Tolstoy once said "Everyone thinks of changing society but no one thinks of changing themself." Lets go or fail trying, with the pride of having at least tried.

This past year has been a year of growth and change for me. Just over a year ago I was returning home from Romania, most of you were kind enough to come along with me in prayer and support. Coming back and facing the changes and inner-conflicts that this trip taught me about the life we live, desiring to know Jesus heart for the poor and our role in that. Since then, I have had three jobs, Midwest Express Airlines(baggage handler) Marriot Hotel Reservations(ummm...telephone hotel reservations agent) and China Buffet(server) and learned the 'joys' of working a 70 hour work week and functioning on -literally, little to no sleep at all. I had the opportunity to return to Romania with a youth team from my church. I have attended the University of Nebraska at Omaha for a semester, often at the cost of my sanity as term papers went un-typed up till the night before they were due. All of that, barring the millions of boring details, brings us to now and onward.

Well, In the next few days I am moving out(lets change that to 'a few days ago'), to a house with a bunch of guys from church, down at 38th and Farnam. I am taking a semester off of school in order to work and save up for this coming fall, in which I hope to attend the University of Nebraska at Lincoln(GO BIG RED-proud and un-abashed after this past season.) I will be turning my program of study from broadcasting to Film Studies at UNL. What this will ultimately do for me, I do not know. But one desire of mine is to direct films, when I grow up. This summer I hope to be in the city of Minneapolis. Helping out on the movie set of this SUPER cool guy that I know. With all that, again barring all of the details about this next year that I dont know yet, brings us to this point next year. I will probably be sitting at this same spot in my house typing an email similar to this one.
Will this next year drop us off in the same place we picked up, unsatisfied with a bad taste in our mouth? Will we come to this place: 2003 still holding the same frustrations? Will we sit and watch as the world slowly drifts by or can we get up and make a difference? Can we change ourselves in order to change the world? It only takes a spark to start a forest fire, why is it that the spark is the hardest to produce? As we step into the new year lets light that spark and allow that to be our catalyst.

I guess that optimally I would close all of this out with a big stunning presentation of THE one thing that I think we should all strive for. Unfortunatly I dont have a universal propoganda of this magnitude at this time. I would contend however that all of us can think of at least one thing that they would like to change in their own life, and we can think of a number of things that we would like to change about society. Lenin once said, "Without a revolutionary theory there can be no revolutionary movement." This would be to say that there is always a beggining to any revolution. Why do you think that there is a marked 'historical site' at all of the major revolutionary 'birth places'? Because this is where the masses gathered, this is the place where the peoples conscious was stirred, this is where emotion was aroused, and something changed. Kingdoms have had their rise and fall on revolutions. Regimes have seen their power come and go. Whats the hardest part of accomplishing any task? Where to start, right? It usually takes something to motivate us to 'get off the couch and do something.' Perhaps, this could be the start we are looking for, Perhaps we can all work together to push and encourage everyone. Perhaps we can change the world. Lets Go.

"everyman dies, but not everyman really live."
-William Wallace, Braveheart

"...I dont want to lose heart, I want to believe."
-Robert the Bruce, Braveheart



peace,

matt

my new contact information is as follows,

3819 Farnam st
Omaha, NE. 68131

phone number,

(402)933-8973

email,

thetick91@yahoo.com

please, call or drop by anytime, I would love to hang out and show you around.

I am blessed with the most amazing friends and family in the world. Thank you for being in my life and allowing me to be in yours.

On my way to work this a couple days ago, biking through the falling snow I saw a guy with mohawk, full, and probably 10" tall. I was sort of jealous.

On my way to lunch, I was approached individually by two different Green Peace'rs; "Would you like to help save the whales?" I wanted to, I really did. Part of me is pressed by the fact that I have loans to pay off. Part of me is pressed by the other guy I saw down the street, hunkered down next to a building, shivering, cold, with a sign next to him that said; "Broke and Alone. Please help" in hand scrawled, permanent ink on corrugated cardboard box that was beggining to deteriorate as the snow around it melted. I thought to myself; that guy might be more honest with his humanity than most people I know. Who isn't Broke and Alone? Was he talking about being broke financially or just as a human, broken?

Part of me is concerned for the whales. Ok, truth be told, a big part of me is concerned for the whales. I feel that if we don't begin to take preventative measures now, then what is affecting the whales and polar bears today will be effecting humans, us, tommorow.

Part of me realizes that what is affecting the polar bears is already affecting humans. People are dying at an alarming rate and we are for the most part, not alarmed.

People often ask me why I bike (particularly when its 10 degrees out and snowing.) I'am often unable to articulate a sensible reason, but as I've thought about it, Ive been able to formulate a decent idea as to why I bike.

Its good for me - I find biking to be therapeutic, it relaxes me, yes, even while biking between cars in downtown Chicago (yes, while wearing a helmet, mom.) Not to mention the health benefits.

Its good for the environment - I produce very few green house gasses while biking. =) I also find that it helps connect me to my surroundings. Biking in it, as opposed to through it, behind the windshield of a car.

Its good for the economy - It saves me quite a bit of money which I am then able to pass on to others who may need it more. Also, not supporting "Big Oil" feels pretty good.

This past year has been pretty momentous in many aspects. I guess the biggest was graduation. I associated it alot with a feeling of being new born, pushed out into the world, slapped on the back and forced to breath. I associate alot with how an infant might feel taking their first few shaky steps. Or a baby bird, pushed from the nest for the first time. One mis-step and you're on the ground, lessons learned, ready to try again.

Learning to live in Chicago has been an adventure. "Does this EL train really go to where I need to go?", "Is Adams st 100N or 100S?", and "Where is the closest Jimmy John's for yet another sub lunch?" I feel that I've grown alot, which will probably only be marked by looking back five years from now and seeing how much more I have grown, again. The older I get, the more I realize I don't know or understand.

I am currently working two-jobs (60+ hours a week) at Starbucks and Corgi USA (www.corgi-usa.com) I am an Administrative Assistant (receptionist) for a company that sells die-cast collectors models, and a barista at the largest coffee retailer in the world. Wooo! I got my degree for this. I got my degree for this?! More to the point, I got the loans I am currently paying off in order to get my degree. (Crap!!)

The future, 2008, I see flying cars and teleports. But for myself I see, I dunno. The plan was to move to Houston with some great friends, to live simply in community and to love more. In brief; to use less and to love more. In essence thats my plan for 2008. Houston has sort of fallen through for the moment, but I am not counting it out. Where I'll end up location wise is entirely up in the air, I will most likely be in Chicago through July when my lease is up.

My resolutions for the upcoming year are:

To read The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
To read the New Testament (as most of what Jesus said is in there.)
To finish a feature length screenplay (one of any of the few that I am working on)
To live slower, smaller, simple and to use what I've been given to hopefully help others live more fulfilled lives.

I wish you all an fantastic 2008, I wish that I could spend more time with each of you, and if anyone would like to move anywhere and live together with people for the mutual good then do it!

"To infinity and Beyond!"
-Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story

peace,

matt

We'll see where this goes.

I have this awkward disposition toward believing that all humans are intrinsically valuable, and should have the inalienable right to remain alive.

Just some thoughts I've been struggling through lately. I am reading this book by E. Stanley Jones called; Christ's Alternative to Communism. He is a christian author and the book was written in 1935, at the height of the rise of communism in the east. It's crazy to think about what this world would be like if they had won, if we had lost. But would it be?

Jones says; "For our chief world-sickness is this, we are trying to respond to world unity while our economic life is based on competition."

Competition/Correspondence or cooperation. The thing that tears at me here is two systems who are in apparent conflict with each other. The system, in which we live, society or the other, system or "realm" God's system.

I think God's system says "others first" and our world's system says, "me first." Where's the rub? What is the relation of the two? What are we called to? If we are called to be "in the world but not of the world", and yet we continue to live just like the world does, what does that make us?

Ghandi once said; "If Christian's truly knew the gift they had received in Jesus they would crawl around the world on their hands and knees in order to share that gift with others."

E. Stanley Jones said; "Neccesities should be provided for all, before luxuries are provided for any."

What are we called to? What is our response to the lack in the world around us? What is my response to the lack in my own heart?

other things I love about chicago

I dont know if it was the rain, the band or the chicago jazz symphony but I got the chills at least four times while standing in the rain at Millenium park listening to the Decemberists play with the Chicago Jazz Orchestra. Absolutley amazing.

Seventy or so bikers, Approximately 35 miles an hour, a 9/10 mile track that ran right in front of my apartment. So there was a professional bike race today. Mens and Womens divisions about 7 races in all, ending in the pro certified mens race, which pitted about 70 men and their 12-14 pound machines against each other. It was pretty incredible. I smiled alot, alot and I think I almost cried at one point just cause I was so happy. I only wish someone had been here to experience it with me.....sigh....

So its been along time since I've done this, so I am gonna skip all of the introductory chit-chat since as we all know I am relatively awkward at small talk anyway. (Or if you didn't now you do and next time you see me or talk to me you can make fun of me for it.)

Life is insane! This is a statement that I will stand by. I don't know when I last sent out one of these big and crazy update emails but alot of stuff has probably happened since then. So we'll skip all of that and move into whats going on now and whats coming up.

First of all, it is Spring Break, Spring Break of my senior year in college. This is nuts! Eight weeks from now I'll be an alumnus with a piece of paper. What does that mean? I feel like this is the end of the human canon and we all wait and watch and hope I can fly. I have a better metaphor something along the lines of child-birth, but I don't want to weird anyone out. (Use your imagination.)

I have been working hard, along with about a 25 person cast and crew (who have all been most phenomenal!) on finishing my senior thesis film, Off Broadway. I am very excited to see it come to completion and hope that you all will come out to see it. Mark your calendars the premier will be toward the end of April here in Lincoln. I'll let you know as we get closer.

This coming week I am going with 6 other senior film majors to LA, we will be going with a professor of ours who has connections there. We will be touring a few of the studio lots out there as well as meeting many producers, directors and writers. We will be visiting the Deadwood set and will be on set for a partial day's shooting of the show Grey's Anatomy (you may have heard of it....I've not seen a full episode.) I am obviously very excited about this. I'll get back to you guys with how this all goes.

Plans? The future? The ever popular question right now. And, I don't know. I kind of think that I have the rest of my life to do whatever it is that I am going to do for the rest of my life, so whats the rush (sorry if you've heard me say that a million or a half times.) I am applying for a few different internships both in LA and in Portland, OR. Interesting? Yes, we'll see. I'll let you know. There is also the possibility of my being involved on a documentary in Kenya, Africa. Crazy. I know.

So to an extent, there's alot going on, and amidst all that school, oh yeah, did I mention that I am an RA. Are there only 24 hours in a day?

I have been enjoying writing alot lately. I will actually be graduating with a minor in english. So I've been doing quite a bit of lately. So I have a small (and growing) collection of scripts and short stories. If you ever want to read anything, well, lets talk.

Sorry its been so long. Sorry this email is so impersonal. I hate that about electronic communication (it takes the heart out of it.) I would love to sit down and talk with all of you at some point. Feel free to shoot me an email, I always love that. Or call with a time that you'd like to do coffee.

peace and love and so on!

matt

I don't know if anyone still checks this blog at any great interval. I guess maybe thats the appeal of it tonight. The chance that I may be writing for myself. The rest of the world has gone the way of the future, Myspace.

I'am tired. Very tired. Maybe it's cause I have a huge mid-term tommorow morning at 9:30 that I feel covers way too much information to be covered in one test. I am tired. And empty. And lonely. Sometimes.....I wonder. The problem with myself however is that I realize how inconsequential my life really is in the scheme of things to actually talk to people about it. Maybe its a "trust" complex. I dont know. I have a hard time telling people where I really am. I hurt. I dont know who to turn to. My best friend is in KC at a 24/7 prayer meeting. My other close friend is moving to Omaha, I dont know if he knows where his life is going either. I dont, my life. I am so ready for graduation. I feel myself coming out of college more and more every day. This four year existence that at times has meant so much will shortly be sloughed off. Will I cheer on that day, will I cry or will I simply stand, staring forward, blank faced, expressionless, wondering who I really am in this overwhelming crowd of red-clad graduates. Is this what John Ferguson felt like in the top of the bell tower in Vertigo. Is it sad that many of my life experiences come from movies? When I fall, not if, will there be anyone to catch me? Will my quiet sleeping mind hold back the tears?

I hope no one reads this.

The past two weeks have been mind blowing. Probably more in the bad sense than the good sense. There is so much going on, so much that I really don't want that I don't have time or energy to focus on what I want to. Some days the razor's edge is so sharp, others it feels so dull. Don't worry thats imagery for my brain state than anything denoting cutting.

My thesis film is moving along. Starting to. Auditions are on Oct. 10th here in Lincoln. I'll probably have something in Omaha too. I need old men, two of them need to be portly, jolly. If you know people...let a brother know.

English class, Writing of Fiction actually feels more like a support group than a class. People using their soapbox to talk about their problems or their desires. Hmmm...sounds alot like what I am doing.

I haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep in the past 5 nights, my average is 4.

Aesthetics class is hyper-pretentious. I think there are principles that you can apply to art. But, beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. You can't make a rule without exceptions. Art and art criticism are so subjective. You can't write a philosophical criticism on art theory without having holes.

I am looking forward to this weekend and it starts tonight!

peace,

matt

p.s. - I am going to post this on my other blog, so don't go there expecting anythign different.

If you've already read this in email form please feel free to not have to read it again. Also, feel free to not complain about reading about my life twice.

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My Bike and I

So, I put my bike back together today.

I haven't seen it since May 17th, when a bike shop in Boise, ID. put her in a box and shipped her back here. I've been on crutches since then. I've had knee surgery since then, and am recovering. I am off crutches! Which is the main reason for writing. Finally, 7 weeks after surgery and after 11 weeks on crutches I am once again a bipod. I am still recovering, mind you, still in physical therapy. I have a difficult time lifting my leg to a 90 degree bend behind me. But I am walking and I will take that any day over having to crutch. My therapist tells me that it should be about a week and I'll be walking normally. Then, I can begin adding other forms of exercise. First on the list, biking.

Me and my bike have a very special relationship. As soon as I can pass legislation observing the union declaring man and bike, it will be so. Not many people can say they've biked across Oregon. I had hoped to bike further. But I am young. There is next summer, and the summer after that. Speaking of next summer, there has already been talk about a trip down the west coast. Start at the Canadian border and find the Mexican border along highway 101 (or whatever it is - along the coast.) How frickin sweet would that be? We'll see.

First things first, learn how to walk again. Start school in two weeks. Start biking again. It's gonna be a great year.

peace,

matt

They say that when enough force acts on a body that body is prone to crack.

I started Physical Therapy today and they told me that I should be able to walk again, on my own by August 3rd. 13 days. I'll be the first to tell you that I am excited. After 10 weeks on crutches I am ready to walk away...literally. My only question is, why couldnt I be off the crutches 6 days earlier so that I could walk down the aisle at my brother's wedding on my own volition. Hey, crutching down the aisle is classy right? Right? sigh....

School starts again 3 weeks after the wedding, I am whole heartedly looking forward to that. To take my mind off this summer, definitely unless someone disagrees, a summer to forget. This fall I'll be living in a small, on campus apartment sort of a deal. It should be alot of fun, my roomates....pretty much the coolest cats around. I'll also be a senior. Woo Woo! Soon to face the harsh realities of "real life" outside the protective confines of the academic setting. Bring it on. This year will pretty much focus on my double minor - Creative Writing and Film Studies, as well as finishing my major - Film Production - namely my thesis film. I THINK that I have my script picked out and if this is in fact that one I end up shooting, it should be alot of fun. It is called "Off Broadway," I'd call it a clever comedy. But then again, I wrote it, talk about biased media. I am currently working on adapting it from its current format as a stageplay into a screenplay. Does anyone have a music copyright connection with Thom Yorke and Radiohead? I will also be looking to fund this shoot as I want to shoot in High Definition or on Film, so...if you are, or know anyone who is interested in funding...er...helping launch a current student artist...please let me know. I am ready to talk. ;-)

Other than that, yeah, I guess there's not alot. It's been kind of a slow moment in my life. I guess, thinking about it, that would probably be the theme of the summer - slowing down. Biking through Oregon at 10mph, now crutching through life at .... real slow, Ok. The beauty of patience comes to mind. Patience and simplicity.

Out on the road my brother and I carried everything we needed with us in small trailers attached to our bikes. It was awesome. You don't get a sense of needing more, when you have everything that you need. I had two jerseys, two matching jerseys - so there weren't the options of what to wear? We carried our tents with us and if it rained...you were lulled to sleep by the delicate percussion of the falling rain. The first thing that I noticed upon getting back home (with injury) is that life here travels so amazingly fast. "Break neck" fast. Nate and I often, noted how nice, friendly and helpful people in small towns were and how nice the slower pace of life would be.

Technology has turned us into a culture of consumers hungry to consume NOW NOW NOW!!! I don't think that this is a healthy outlook. The technology that is supposed to "draw us closer to one another." I would say has given us the proper means by which to canyon ourselves off from the rest of the world. Technology is, just that...so cold and impersonable, and yet I can get online and learn more about them on their myspace page than I might learn in-person. It isn't any wonder to me that the "upper-class" are often less happy with life than those who don't have as much. Everything that we own somehow ends up owning us.

I don't exactely know at what point this turned from being a brief thought to somewhat of a rant, but it concerns me to think of the repercussions if we continue to live at the level of affluence that we do. It scares me when Stephen Hawking poses the question; "In a world that is in chaos politically, socially and environmentally, how can the human race sustain another 100 years?" WOW. I dunno, I am not going to claim to have all (or any) of the answers. But I think that a slower paced and more patient world would be for the better.

Here we go, have a great night.

peace,

matt

Hey,

So tonight - I looked, and there before me was struch by a feeling akin to awe. A sight, something that I had not seen in awhile. I looked, and as things fell into focus and my eyes adjusted, rubbing them once in awhile to make sure I was not hallucinating. I looked, and there amongst the swelling I saw what looked like the outline of my knee cap! Amazing.

So yeah, surgery was last friday the 16th. So just in case you have not heard how that went, were curious and have the patience to sit through my whimsical ramblings.

When the got in, they found there were actually three tears instead of one, as well as finding that some of the cartilage had begun to pull away from the bone. So, they did what they do and repaired it all, I really dont know how, I am not a doctor, nor was I there. I was, at the time happily unconcious on the table miles away from where I actually was.

So now, recovery. 6-8 weeks "non-weigh bearing" - means that; Dude can't put his foot down. It's like playing "dont touch the floor" as a child. Where you had to jump/climb from furniture to furniture to avoid touching the floor, yeah, its like playing that with just one foot. One week down, 5-7 to go. I hate crutches! It really has been tough at times. I am trying to maintain a positive attitude, but everything becomes a process. It's frustrating.

Everyone says that this is happening for a reason and that reason will become clear someday, I understand, but have a heard time seeing it sometimes. I guess, someday it will be clear-er. So for now I am doing alot of reading, writing and watching movies, feel free to come and join me. It's a blast let me tell ya!

Hey, anyone want to have a "crutchless" party 5-7 weeks from now?

peace,

matt

"To infinity and beyond!"
-Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story