SMILING, THROUGH MY WOUND.

I realize that it has been over 4 months since my last post, so in an atempt to be more transparent with my life I hope to make this worthwhile. If you have any questions, concerns or would just like to talk please email me at halfpastnormal@yahoo.com.

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I never realized that a "search for truth" could be so tiring.

Seriously. It has been over a year now since I took a "step back," of sorts from my faith based following(Christianity) of nearly 4 years. My reason: confusion, my motivation: questions, and my purpose: to find TRUTH. The verse in the Bible that entreats us to Ask, Seek and Knock has been a sort of mission statement of mine for about the past year.

The main question asked that begged my attention late last summer was "How does a good God allow evil?" an answer that I think any person strong in their faith could answer fairly quickly. But for myself I had a problem, I couldn't say that I believed the answer that was given.

I think that one important component of just about any religion is 'faith.' This is another term on which I have stumbled for the past year. I think that for any religion to complete its true purpose must surpass mere religion and find itself in a person to be their spiritual belief. To believe takes faith.

Am I making things more complicated than they need to be?

Sometimes it all seems so elementary. At times I've had the thought to simply create a spiritual dart-board. Something at which I could toss a few darts and come up with some irrecognizable form of a religion in which I could believe. Essentially, there have been times that I have felt that it would be easier to just give up and pick the easiest choice and pretend to "believe" that it is truth(and some would suggest this to be a feasible method - "What can it hurt to try?" has been asked of me.) I guess that just seems like a short-cut.

If there is one thing of which I am certain; "Truth, being questioned and once the dust settles Truth will remain standing."

Every time I say this to myself or someone I think of Mount Rushmore. I think about how at one point it was one large amorphous rock. Then one day a guy came along with a crew of other guys and thought "Hey, it might be cool to make some faces out of this rock." The finished result is what I would compare to "the truth." Similarly, with truth you can widdle away at it, but at some point no more will chip away. For me that is when you sit back, let the dust settle and begin to inspect the Final work. So where is this elusive truth?

I've heard there's joy in the journey. Wanna find out with me?