I don't know if anyone still checks this blog at any great interval. I guess maybe thats the appeal of it tonight. The chance that I may be writing for myself. The rest of the world has gone the way of the future, Myspace.

I'am tired. Very tired. Maybe it's cause I have a huge mid-term tommorow morning at 9:30 that I feel covers way too much information to be covered in one test. I am tired. And empty. And lonely. Sometimes.....I wonder. The problem with myself however is that I realize how inconsequential my life really is in the scheme of things to actually talk to people about it. Maybe its a "trust" complex. I dont know. I have a hard time telling people where I really am. I hurt. I dont know who to turn to. My best friend is in KC at a 24/7 prayer meeting. My other close friend is moving to Omaha, I dont know if he knows where his life is going either. I dont, my life. I am so ready for graduation. I feel myself coming out of college more and more every day. This four year existence that at times has meant so much will shortly be sloughed off. Will I cheer on that day, will I cry or will I simply stand, staring forward, blank faced, expressionless, wondering who I really am in this overwhelming crowd of red-clad graduates. Is this what John Ferguson felt like in the top of the bell tower in Vertigo. Is it sad that many of my life experiences come from movies? When I fall, not if, will there be anyone to catch me? Will my quiet sleeping mind hold back the tears?

I hope no one reads this.