By the end of the summer my legs are gonna be like rocks. Right now my gluteals feel like fire. Tommorow morning my quads are gonna feel the same if not worse. I just played ultimate frisbee for nearly 3 hours. Awesome! We won. I just pray that I get a "mounted" mail route tommorow, which would mean that I get to drive a truck and deliver as opposed to walk and deliver, cause my legs are going to sting.

Happy Memorial day! Spend some time with the family today.

It would seem that the "summer slump" is taking the reverse, and by that I mean that there seem to be some new folk checking by(either that or the same 2 people are stopping by 4 and 5 times a day...hey if so, Rock On! But if there are in fact new people, I would wish you a hearty Welcome! Drop a line sometime. I think there is a link for feedback or comments or whatnot.

I think I discovered a rift in the space-time continuum today (suddenly the "former trekkies" contingent of my readership perks up.) Yeah, standing in the bathroom at work in the West Omaha Post Office today and I blew my nose, usuing a Kleenex of course. Of course. and well something left my nose...I felt it leave, ok. And I looked at the Kleenex and there was in fact a hole in it and on the other side of the Kleenex, my hand, but no boogie. This brought to my mind some deal of confusion. And yes, I did do some searching around, but no boogie. So, my only logical conclusion...a rift in the space-time continuum.

Then one night, Simba's father appears to him in a vision;

Mufasa: Simba.
Simba: Father?
Mufasa: Simba, you have forgotten me.
Simba: No! How could I?
Mufasa: You have forgotten who you are and so forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba...you are more than what you have become.
Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.
Mufasa: Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one true king. Remember who you are.

--The Lion King, Disney (1994)

Randomness, when attempted by human hands still shows evidence of plan and design.

Observations:

Cillian Murphy(28 Days Later, Red-Eye, Batman Begins) may very well have the best set of eyes of anyone that I have seen, why doesn't he get more recognition?

I am really looking forward to seeing Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Who says Matt Harrell can't have fun at the movie theatre in 2005?

John Cusack(Say Anything, Must Love Dogs, Serendipity) is my nominee for most-eligible, cute and sensitive bachelor in a movie roll.

2005 must be the year to make-an-entirely-new-copy-of-a-previously-succesful-movie-and-market-it-by-a-different-name. (ie- Kingdom of Heaven = Gladiator, Flightplan = Contact)

Crash and I ain't talking about no Dave Matthew's song. I've already said too much.

Equilibrium: lost

I should have posted about this before what I had yesterday, but what I wrote yesterday was just so heavy on my brain I had to get it out.

Anywho, I just got back on Sunday from a what felt like a whirlwhind tour of sorts. A whirlwind 7 city tour(Lincoln, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Orlando, Indianapolis, Minneapolis, Omaha.) A crazy-weird sort of vacation that I think one is only afforded when they are an airline employee. Speaking of which, when you fly standby as you do when you are an airline employee you truly are a second-class citizen of the airport. Seriously, as I sat there in the Detroit airport after getting bumped from 3 different flights to either Tampa or Orlando I thought to myself, I feel like the equivalent of a homeless person in the airport. I mean really, no one really cares about you. If you get bumped from a flight the airline doesn't re-imburse you or put you up in a hotel for the night. If you're lucky, they might help you re-list on a later flight. Hmmm...I guess on a lighter note it did only cost me $40 to fly down and back, so thats a plus!

It was a blast. Leaving from here Friday morning I didn't really have a final destination in mind(although I did have a few narrowed down) and Florida seemed to be as good of place as any with the sun and the beaches and all. So after spending 5 hours in the airport I was off to Tampa Bay, off to tampa bay...on 3 hours of sleep. 2 hours of waiting in the airport for my friend to pick me up then a 2 hour drive back to Orlando. A rather chill evening of just catching up on things in each others lives. Driving around Orlando and seeing the various sights her apartment, downtown disney, etc.... Finding a hotel(the first ever that I have rented) some TV and some sleep.

Wake up call. Saturday morning. Wake, shower, pack, eat and I am off to Animal Kingdom with my good friend Sarah Epperson, where she works. Wow, in retrospect we did SO much at Animal Kingdom in the brief like 5 hours that we were there. The Tree of Life and Its Tough to be a Bug, Tarzan Rocks, The Safari, The Lion King Show, Rafiki's Train Ride thing, ummm.....and Dinoland or Dinosaur Expedition or something. It was all alot of fun, although I was tired. I met my three goals for the trip by Getting out of Omaha, Hanging out in the sun and Hanging out with my friend.

So straight from Animal Kingdom to the airport where I get bumped from one flight before before making it onto an alternative flight to Indianpolis...where there are no more flights home by the time I got there. So I got myself a hotel(#2 if youre counting) and let me tell you King Size Beds are HUGE!!!!! I think that I only saw about a quarter of it the entire time I was there. Sleep. Zonk. I am pooped. 5 hours later. Wake up call, shower, eat, pack and I am back at the airport. Short hop to Minneapolis with 3 hours till my next flight.

What to do? Well, Mall of America is somewhere in this big town. Right? So the obvious answer is to find it and go there. Which I did. (Public Transportation ROCKS!!!!) So yeah, I found a monorail of all things to bring me to the mall and walked around for awhile. Now. To those who think that the Mall of America is big enough that it should require like a week to see all of it. You are all wrong. I think I walked 75% of it in an hour and a half. Mind you, I didn't do much shopping. I didn't really have money or anything pressing to buy and also they closed the super cool toy store that I think took up half of the time we were in the mall with my family a few years ago. I was bummed.

But things go and as such I went back to the airport. To Lincoln, drive to Omaha and sleep!

I feel fat. My saying that should make some realize the lunacy of when they say that statement. It doesnt matter. I played serious ulitimate frisbee tonight with a bunch of people and it was awesome. My chest feels like burning. My legs feel like rocks...more specifically Pop Rocks that if you were to touch water to them they would burst. It was wonderful. Maybe it was the 6 oz. steak that I ate before I played, but I feel fat.

And oddly, outside of my game of frisbee I dont feel that I am talking about my physical body. I am thankful for the body I have, thankful that everything works. Thankful that I am healthy. But I still feel fat. More specifically I think I would say that I feel complacent. Maybe thats it. My mind feels fat, my spirit feels fat, my heart feels fat. Lazy. Complacent.

Complacency is -- A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy. Dictionary.com (I even feel complacent in this moment for using a websource dictionary.)

The Grasshopper in the story of the Ants and the Grasshopper was complacent. He put off gathering food for the winter figuring that he had plenty of time. Instead he widdled and fiddled his time away dancing and playing is guitar. The ants toiled on.

Complacency in my mind is a feeling of "I've arrived and I don't have to fight anymore." or "That there is more time to fight later." In my opinion a bad place to be. But that is where I am. Now, trying to fight my way out of it. So many things in my life have changed in the past year. Like I said to a great friend awhile back; "I am miles away from where I was yesterday." I feel that alot of the questions that I had been asking for so long have begun to be answered. I feel more sure of my salvation today than I did a few months ago. That can be a scary place to be.

The Bible says to "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling."(Phil. 2:12)

Too many things can way a man down. Too many things have weighed me down. A very wise woman once said that "Hunger drives a man on." (Shirley Harrell)

I feel that God said to me yesterday; "For that which He hath set free is free indeed. Now walk ye in that freedom." and also, then a little later I feel that He said to me "Don't move until I tell you to move." I guess, I dont know exactley what those mean together yet but I am ready.

Thats what I think its about. Being ready for God to move to tell you too move. Not being weighed down by junk, by things, by whatever...fill in the blank. I think God called us to be warriors and most warriors dont carry their kitchen sink around. Where am I getting with all this? I really don't know. Most of this has just flowed. I don't know that I am telling you to sell all of your possesions and give them to the poor, but Jesus might...and the Bible did. Be ready to move. Because in alot of ways I think that if we are not ready to move on our own.

Then, I think that we will be moved against our wills. If we say that we believe it, mean it.

I don't know what more to say. I would love to hear feedback. halfpastnormal@yahoo.com

I am in the boat too. Lets go together.

Freedom was only meant for those who can be trusted to handle it responsibly.

The Storm

The fire in a windsbreath
the steam in the storm

The power
magnificence
and fury of a thousand angels raining down

Raindrops on my glasses
what a pretty sensation

The wind
rain
and beauty, a source of hope for new life

The old is burned away
the new comes shining through

The beauty in the tumult
the breath amongst the storm

Rumble
thunder
and repitition

The storm.

ROCK IT ALICE COOPER!!!!

SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!!!!!

ITS ALL OVER!!!!!

IF YOU WANNA PARTY LIKE ITS NEVER BEEN PARITED LIKE GIVE ME A CALL!!!!

GOODBYE LINCOLN!!! GOODBYE POUND 811!!!! YOUVE BEEN GOOD TO ME!!!!

SEE YOU NEXT FALL!!!

BUT NOT A MOMENT SOONER!!!!

one word to describe how I feel right now: EXUBERANCE!!!!

"Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't. " -Narrator, Fight Club

That about sums it up. Oh yeah, also find and listen to Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional the only part of everything that it doesn't mention are the two birds flying around Wal-mart.

So I just got back from a 3 day 6 city tour (Lincoln, Minneapolis, Austin, San Antonio, Memphis, Omaha) and it was Awesome. Seriously, as a college kid one may not think that a weekend vacation with their parents and grandparents would be that exciting...and it wasnt really that exciting, but that was the excitement of it all. For 2 days I feel like my life went about 2 miles per hour. Sitting around and just connecting. Learning about my grandparents past, their lives their legacy.

So it was a great weekend. Flying with my parents (for $40 each way no less!) It was a very encouraging weekend. Many epiphanies and revelations. Inspirations. I did some writing on the flight home this afternoon that I really, really liked. I am excited to see the direction it takes in the next couple of days. Look for that soon. Other than that I am back at school in lincoln in a partially "moved out" room, so it is kind of boring.

A job interview at the Post Office on Wednesday(pray, please) , A final on Thursday, Move the rest of my junk home Thursday, My Brother Nate's Graduation on Friday!

Awesome.

"Hunger drives a man on." - My mom.