We haven't been ourselves lately.

I suppose there is part of me that wants to relapse to my charismatic past and sort of just cover it all up. The desire to put my church-face on and smile like nothing is wrong. But even doing that has been seen through. I don't know if anyone reading this has dealt with infertility before, to be fair, I don't know if there is anyone reading this.

It sucks. I believe that if fertility and birth are the celebrations of life, then I'll let you draw your own conclusions on what infertility feels like. I've been thinking alot on the balance between faith/hope and disappointment. It would seem that without faith/hope one is reserved to an apathetic sort of fatalism. Yet it seems when one has hope then they opening themselves up to alot of disappointment. I don't understand this balance.