"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together...." (The Beatles, I am the Walrus)

Self-actualization is one of the whack-iest things. Now I am ok with saying "I think therefore I am." (Descartes) From there, once we've arrived at my/your/our existence here, what am I/you/we?

I'll get back to the craziness that is the symbolism on the dollar bill some other time (see post dated April 10th 2008).

"...See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
MAN, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob."

If I were to open up a book, and in that book read the words "You are a beautiful, individual. A unique individual who is loved." I would most likely feel warm, special, unique, loved. All good feelings. If I took that book and handed it to you and had you read the same words, you would also be that unique and loved individual. If you took the book and walked down the street until no one else from the before interaction was within ear-shot and handed the book to some other complete stranger the process would repeat itself.

So why don't we live like this? Why don't we more often live in the mode of affirming others value and worth?

It is easy to understand as a child when your mother tells you that you are special. There's a chance that the stranger you meet on the street heard a similar truth when they were young. It is unfortunate if they did not.

interconnectedness
me in relationship
defined by relationship

I've said before (or heard it said, or both) that we are most fully human in relationship. Case in point, all the of the adjectives we use to describe ourselves to others are relational adjectives (brother, mother, sister, daughter, employee, employer, dad, disc-jockey, artist, lover, teacher.) Why is it that all of these terms only make sense when viewed in their relationship to someone else? I am the son of Al and Shirley, Brother of Chris and Nate, Employee of .... etc....

One of my all time favorite quotes is from the movie Fight Club which I will quote here verbatim (I should acknowledge the language, but not apologize for it as it is a quote. If you feel you may be offended, please skip ahead.)

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Why then, if we gain all... most...a large part (?) - of our validity from our relations do we spend so much of our time putting up with the societal ideal that we must "get ahead" of those around us? If truly "all you need is love" (The Beatles, All you need is love ) then why do we spend so much of our time and so much of ourselves striving to be more, and to have more?

Why can't we realize our validation as being human, along with all our flaws and inadequacies, and try to help others see their validity. We spend so much of ourselves trying to gain the validation of others, we try to glean our value from how much money we make, what car we drive, which shirt or pair of shoes we wear. What would happen if we stopped trying so hard to prove our worth, looked around at those around us and merely said "you are beautiful."

Cooperation vs. competition.

Together we can be more than the sum of our parts.

I have the feeling/belief that if we spent ourselves wholly on seeing to build up and value others in our lives then we wouldn't feel so concerned about our own getting ahead, and in a perfect world someone else would be concerned with helping you feel more valued.