This guy kind of inspires me...and makes my 6 mile bike-commute look like cake.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/05/30/christian.bike.to.work.kero

Every taste is either acquired, or refined.

If I could ask any dead person one question, I would ask an actor, who had portrayed their death on stage or screen, whether or not their actual death felt like they had expected.

Perspective: David Letterman would have had a hay-day.....



So, there have been a few "running gags" over the past few years of late-night television that I have really loved. For awhile Late Night with David Letterman took to throwing things out windows and would show their slow motion replays of these things smashing on the cement below, the object that sticks out in my memory was a 25-gallon aquarium filled with guacamole.

Conan O'Brian's long running "in the year 2000" will always be a favorite, as well as his having a man dressed in black t-shirt and sweatpants (emblazoned with the word "pubes") standing in random public places saying the word "pubes" in an un-embellished tone.

David Letterman also had a gig for awhile called "Is This Anything?"

--

I visited "The MCA" (Museum of Contemporary Art) a couple days ago and I believe that Dave and Paul Shaffer would have been knee-deep in debatable "things" with this museum. I mean, I don't really know the distinction between "contemporary art" and "modern art", but I have heard modern art described as "Weird for the sake of weird." (-Moe, The Simpsons)

The most impressive part of the museum for me was a fish tank built into the archtecture of the building.

As I sat on the edge of this almond shaped pond and watched the five or six Koi fish slowly swim around in relatively erratic, yet methodical patterns. They appeared to be heavily involved in their goings on, whether it was nibbling some crumb off the pond bottom, or swimming mindlessly from end to end. I wondered whether or not they were aware of their existence. I wondered if by the time they got to one end of the 10 foot pond, they'd forgotten about the other end and were then in a hurry to get back, or check it out. I wondered if they were aware of my existence. From time to time one of them seemed to look up, but it seems impossible to tell.




I wondered if my constant dashings from end-to-end of my own "pool" were just as inane, just as meaningless. I wondered if I would be aware of anyone looking down on me. I wonder if I am aware of God, and to what extent we can be. As I walked away from the pond it seemed to become even more complicated. The pond is built into the bottom of the eye-shaped stairwell. So from every point on the stairs you could look down and see the fish. From every new height a new perspective on the same thing.



I made note to myself that much "contemporary art is heavily, if not wholly interested in the process of the creation of said piece." Many of the artist's descriptions next to each piece began with; "I feel...", or "I felt..." or "I thought..." Self-involvement? Narcissism?


The other piece that most caught my mind was one titled "The Other Vietnam Memorial."



Although, the picture is a bit blurry, this is a floor-to-ceiling, Rolodex style installation with the names of the dead from the Vietnam war. Much like its better known counterpart in our nations capital, this exhibit carried the names of the nearly 3 million who died in the conflict, from their country. White gloves were provided so one could "touch" the exhibit, like one would at the wall in D.C. The overwhelming difference here was the font size - much smaller than it's "more important" relative in Washington.

Walking up the staircase, and out the door of the museum I had to pause for a moment to rest. Sometimes your mind will do that to you. Sometimes when you can't force all of the correct answers to be in the forefront of your brain at one time you get over-whelmed. But then again didn't the writer of Ecclesiastes say something about a "chasing after the wind."

Radiohead: Weird as they wanna be. (St. Louis May, 14th 2008)

The show was Ah-mazing! Here's a very apt review http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2008/05/show_review_radiohead_at_the_v.php

Totally worth driving down, and bussing back within 20 hours, totally worth feeling totally worthless right now at work, back in Chicago. I may, or may not write more when I am feeling more...conscious.

Radiohead: Weird enough for me.

How much different would George W. Bush's 8-year presidency have looked without 9/11?

Here are some sites that I really like and frequent on a semi-regular basis.

http://www.banksy.co.uk/ - "Bansky" is a "street artist" and by that I mean graffiti artist (see also http://obeygiant.com/ - the more famous or "in-famous" artist) One of his indoor pieces is my current desktop picture at work....I call it "terrorists for love" but I dont know the real title.

Also, Cyanide and Happiness (http://www.explosm.net/comics/1261/) It is admittedly, drier and more cynical, and would probably not be considered "for everyone." (I actually had to look for a bit before I chose one of their comics I felt appropriate to share as the first on the link.

The obvious and aforementioned Stuff White People Like

Also, stumbled across this one (http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/dying.html)a couple days ago in searching for Charles Darwin's last words - "I am not the least afraid to die." and thought the list was pretty interesting.

Irony, is the vegetarian who only eats organic - due to the toxins and pesticides - who drinks beer and smokes pot, both of which are essentially poisons.

We are but waves,
ourselves and those around us.
As we reach a pinnacle
we believe we are the first to crash on this beach.
We are the first to be swallowed again, out to sea.

Every moment, more important than the crashing wave just before.
Believed to be unique, special, how true.
But alike all the same.

We are but ebb, and flow.
Ashes, dust.
Held up by those before,
and supporting those who will come after.

Waxing and waining,
living and dying,
rivers and tides.

I think that it is wholly inappropriate to think of another human as an "enemy". By definition, as human, to place the title "enemy" is to term them, the other and the opposition - thus tagging them as irredeemable, just like we do with corporal punishment and death row inmates. To take it a step further and to actually kill this person (in the name of whatever "good") is to first, play god and second to completely deny their humanity. What is the difference between protecting my human, biological brother and feeling the need/requirement to protect a human, non-biological brother if we can assume that everyone is someone else's "brother/sister." The labeling of "human" (a thing which all living homo sapiens are deserving of)is the most validating of terms. Conversely, terming one as "enemy", the most invalidating, similar to how we treat people with handicaps. Invalid.

Who is my brother?

Irony is being told how un-nutritious cotton candy is by someone eating french-fries or potato chips.

War seems like the get-rich-quick scheme toward World peace.

So, right now, as of April 17th 2008, I have never interviewed for a job that I have not gotten. I only bring this up because that may all change tommorow. If you have not heard, I have applied and interviewed with Teach for America.

If accepted I will need to choose in very rapid order whether or not I am going to accept the position and location offered, and if not what am I going to do otherwise. I guess, if I choose otherwise it wont need to be so quick, but putting it that way makes it seem more dramatic. I have put my preferences as LA, Houston, Kansas City and Memphis ....so I guess we'll find out tommorow.

I'll be honest, I am fairly nervous. With that being said, I am not banking on getting the position. I have seen how those expectations have worked out for others in the past. If I get it, great, if not great. If not, I'll develop another plan of being able to share love/opportunity with others.

So I guess we'll see what happens, and after tommorow I'll start to formulate a plan for "whats next." Time is NOT money, and I am in no rush. After a few months of feeling like I've been waiting for this decision it will be nice to finally have an answer one way or another.

Either way, I'll let you know.

"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together...." (The Beatles, I am the Walrus)

Self-actualization is one of the whack-iest things. Now I am ok with saying "I think therefore I am." (Descartes) From there, once we've arrived at my/your/our existence here, what am I/you/we?

I'll get back to the craziness that is the symbolism on the dollar bill some other time (see post dated April 10th 2008).

"...See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
MAN, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob."

If I were to open up a book, and in that book read the words "You are a beautiful, individual. A unique individual who is loved." I would most likely feel warm, special, unique, loved. All good feelings. If I took that book and handed it to you and had you read the same words, you would also be that unique and loved individual. If you took the book and walked down the street until no one else from the before interaction was within ear-shot and handed the book to some other complete stranger the process would repeat itself.

So why don't we live like this? Why don't we more often live in the mode of affirming others value and worth?

It is easy to understand as a child when your mother tells you that you are special. There's a chance that the stranger you meet on the street heard a similar truth when they were young. It is unfortunate if they did not.

interconnectedness
me in relationship
defined by relationship

I've said before (or heard it said, or both) that we are most fully human in relationship. Case in point, all the of the adjectives we use to describe ourselves to others are relational adjectives (brother, mother, sister, daughter, employee, employer, dad, disc-jockey, artist, lover, teacher.) Why is it that all of these terms only make sense when viewed in their relationship to someone else? I am the son of Al and Shirley, Brother of Chris and Nate, Employee of .... etc....

One of my all time favorite quotes is from the movie Fight Club which I will quote here verbatim (I should acknowledge the language, but not apologize for it as it is a quote. If you feel you may be offended, please skip ahead.)

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Why then, if we gain all... most...a large part (?) - of our validity from our relations do we spend so much of our time putting up with the societal ideal that we must "get ahead" of those around us? If truly "all you need is love" (The Beatles, All you need is love ) then why do we spend so much of our time and so much of ourselves striving to be more, and to have more?

Why can't we realize our validation as being human, along with all our flaws and inadequacies, and try to help others see their validity. We spend so much of ourselves trying to gain the validation of others, we try to glean our value from how much money we make, what car we drive, which shirt or pair of shoes we wear. What would happen if we stopped trying so hard to prove our worth, looked around at those around us and merely said "you are beautiful."

Cooperation vs. competition.

Together we can be more than the sum of our parts.

I have the feeling/belief that if we spent ourselves wholly on seeing to build up and value others in our lives then we wouldn't feel so concerned about our own getting ahead, and in a perfect world someone else would be concerned with helping you feel more valued.

Does anyone else find it interesting that the words "In God We Trust" is printed on every piece of US Currency? Seems contradictory. Almost a dichotomy, eh?

Value - the struggle and surrender of self-worth.

I'll be honest (and if you're the first person reading this you'll be the first to know - and you should leave a comment to tell me so.) that I really like the song You're Beautiful by James Blunt.

"You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true."

I know you've all heard the song. I also really like the song Daughters
by John Mayer. I'll provide the link to the full lyrics here.

Now while neither of these songs are absolute favorites of mine, what they communicate is amazing. Value, worth, esteem, honor, respect. So many things that are not readily communicated in society.

I've heard it said before that; The chief end of man is to know and be known. (if you know the actual quote please let me know.) I am convinced that so much of our time and energy here on Earth are spent chasing after these things. Cars, business, clothing, success, money, promotions. The music we listen to, the apartment or house we live in, the people we hang out with.

This morning I tied a tie for the first time. I had an interview up on North Michigan ave. and needed to look fancy. After the interview I needed to use the restroom and the place next door was Neiman Marcus, so I headed in. Wandering the floors to find the place I wondered to myself whether or not I would be accepted in this place if I were not wearing a suit and tie. Everyone was in slacks or better, the only pair of jeans was on a soccer-mom who looked like she'd taken a wrong turn. Why is it that putting on a tie gave me the status of being able to be in this store?

Walking out the door ten-steps down the side-walk there was a homeless man begging. I wondered whether or not he'd be accepted in Neiman Marcus. How's that for a dichotomy?

If I could tell everyone in the world one thing it would be that they are beautiful. Valuable. Important. Unique and Loved, and nothing they could do would change that.

Where do we derive our worth from? If we truly are suppose to be "in the world but not of the world." Then why are we so concerned about what the world thinks of us.

"This world has nothing for me,
This world has everything,
all that I could want
and nothing that I need.
-This World, Caedmon's Call

If there is one thing that I could tell you it would be that you are valuable and that nothing you do could change that. If there were one thing I could ask you to do is to not try to prop up your self-worth, but to in turn realize the hurting world around you and seek with all your heart, mind and soul to build up the worth of others.

I remember my mother when I was a wee little lad telling me that I was a special, unique individual. Perhaps it is because of those words that I can say these words today. I've been through the lows of depression, loneliness and doubting self-worth and I know that it sucks. I see others there every day and I want to say to them, climb on my back and I'll carry you or better yet, put your arm around me and we'll walk, hobble - broken together.

I was very thankful to find out that the office where I interviewed today was casual (Jeans!) and not a suit and tie (Its hard to bike in formal wear.) You don't need to find your value in what clothes you wear, what car you drive or even those who are around you. Be. Just be. Valuable, beautiful, loved, a gift - and lets seek to build that feeling in others.

kickin?

What is plastic??!?!

Has anyone stopped to ask themselves this? More importantly has anyone stopped to ask someone else this? From what I gather it is some conglomerate of polymers melted down into a goo-ey substance and then molded into just about everything we use in our lives. It cannot be repaired. There are about a million types of it. It doesn't really ever properly decompose. It apparently has estrogen in it (and probably a million other harmful chemicals). Mr. McGuire calls it "the way of the future" in The Graduate (1967) and to a large part, he has been right. But does anything know anything good about this product?

Top 4 reasons why I like Green Snot

1. Thickening
2. Girls are way more likely to be grossed out by green snot than by not-green-snot
3. Green snot means that you're sinuses are nearing the end of draining, which means you will be able to hear properly again, and talk properly again and more or less not feel like there's a 300 pound gorilla sitting on your head...unless of course there is a 300 pound gorilla sitting on your head.*
4. Green snot means you will soon have boogers, boogers are natural


*If there is a 300 pound gorilla sitting on your head you may want to contact your local authorities for help.

Having a cold sucks. Speaking of things that sucks, racism sucks. Recently Democratic Presidential Hopeful Barack Obama addressed this issue, specifically in regards to some very divisive comments his Pastor made from the pulpit. Here is the most complete version of the video I could find, which I have yet to see, but we should watch it and then talk about it.

You can read the complete text of the speech here.

I love this blog too much to not pimp it on my own blog.

Stuff White People Like

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

Both links are to the same thing, I am just making it more convenient for you. Enjoy. I read this daily, and laugh. And realize how point-less our life is. How much we've made out of so little. Sigh....

Torn like two-ply toilet tissue

So, There seem to be these times in life where an OBVIOUS answer just doesn't seem to exist. Usually this period of confusion follows the question of "What should I do next?"

I feel like I have a solid answer to "What do I want to do with my life?" and that is; To use less and to love more.

Which may sound kinda vague, and that may be the reason I like it so much. Vague leaves alot of room for freedom, and if one is willing to live with accountability and not use their freedom to be lackadaisical then I think alot of good can come from it. I guess, its the difference between the successes (and failures) of democracy and the successes (and failures) of socialism. People are willing to live more of their convictions (and contribute more) to society if they are acting under their own impetus, rather than the forced will of the government (or The Man.)


Why have we turned (all of our) relationships into formulas? You do this and this and this and then you get or give this and this and this, and then this happens and your relationship is better for it. Presto! Why does everyone's Christian walk look the same? Read. Worship. Pray. Presto change-o! Yikes, that scares me.

So I am applying for Teach for America (http://www.teachforamerica.com/). TFA is a corp of people who start as beginning teachers in "under-privileged" areas, trying to share some of the opportunity (and hope) they've been given in building relationships with students in the classroom. TFA is, and can seem like a romantic idea, which I don't believe it will be in all practicality. Over the past few months of the application/interview process I've read many accounts of both the "Happily ever afters...." and the horror stories from teachers who have hated it.

I guess, ultimately the question is where do I think I could do the most good? The options are roughly TFA or Omaha, NE. I would love to start a community house of sorts in Omaha, encourage people to start bike-commuting, using less, re-cycling and generally and living more sustainably. I already know alot of people in Omaha and feel that it would be building this sort of thing with some sort of starting foundation, or going about it from scratch. Thoughts?

My office job is closing at the end of this month, which throws me for yet another decision loop. Yikes. So I find myself in a city where I don't really feel that I should be in half-waiting out a lease that ends in July waiting with my hands-tied to make decisions. So there you go. Are you as confused as I am? =)